We are living in a time of great division and fear. We know that, we as a nation, have not adequately addressed bullying and the impact it has on children as they mature. Our mental health services for those without resources are abysmal. We, as a nation, have been acting too long from a place of crisis management, rather than preventative care.
My idea takes no money, very little time, and is something every one of us can choose to do every moment of every day.
We all know that we feel better when we are acting kind and others are acting kind to us. What if every time we have an unkind or disrespectful thought, word or action, we turn it around with two kind thoughts/words/actions? It doesn’t matter if it is just in our head, or spoken out loud.
This came to me when someone was saying how much it bothers her when a family member makes a snide remark to her…often in the form of “teasing.” What if, when such a comment is made the receiver responds with “Okay, now, would you please say 2 nice things about me?” No anger or defensiveness, a simple request. What if families all agreed to this Pledge?
While I was babysitting for an eight and six year old last week I overheard the sister make a typical older sister comment, in a tone of “you are so stupid.” I immediately told her of the new family agreement of the Kindness Turnaround. Groan! “I can’t think of two nice things.” After saying one, she made a negative comment. I sweetly said, “Oh, now you get to say two more nice things.” Double groan! With consistency (and a little coaching from an adult), how long do you think it will take before there is greater peace and kindness in the household? In my experience, not long!
How remarkable could it be if classrooms all took the pledge, if entire schools took the pledge, places of employment? I believe that what we put our attention on grows. If we put our attention on what each of us are doing “right,” wouldn’t our world be better for it?
I am calling this the Kindness Turnaround Pledge.
The possibilities are endless. We can make this pledge to ourselves, in regard to every comment we make in our heads. How many times do we say to ourselves, “You are so stupid!” Turnaround time to then say two nice things to ourselves, about ourselves.
Or, we say something to ourselves about our environment or others that we do not like. As happens, I had an opportunity to practice this very soon after the idea came to me. I was trying to get out in the busy Friday South Tyler traffic. My thought was, “This is crazy…I will never get out.” I did a quick Turnaround: “I am grateful I have plenty of time to get to my next event. I am grateful my office is not in this part of town.” Within a minute I witnessed someone illegally drive over the medium, rather than wait to go through the light and make a U-turn. My first thought was, “How stupid is she?” My quick Turnaround was, “I am grateful no one was hurt. I am grateful most people follow traffic rules.” I immediately felt better.
Sometimes when I wake up at night my brain goes to problem situations. I start ruminating about what I am going to do. I now do a Turnaround and go back to sleep quickly.
What better time than the holidays for families to take this pledge with one another? If you are “IN,” go to the Kindness Turnaround Pledge Facebook page, click Like and share. Please share your Turnarounds on the Kindness Turnaround Pledge Facebook page, and your own Facebook page, as you experience them.
Will you pledge to be a part of the solution? Will you take the Kindness Turnaround Pledge?
December 18th, 2012 at 4:01 pm
This is clear and inviting. I’ll happily take the pledge! THANKS, Liza, for offering me this way to a more positive life!
December 18th, 2012 at 5:49 pm
What a wonderful idea. I’m definitely on board.
December 19th, 2012 at 4:28 pm
A very positive practice that offers an opportunity to build awareness!
December 20th, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Count me in. I’ll take the pledge! What a great way to begin the new year.
July 15th, 2013 at 5:20 pm
Uplifting idea I love it. There is much to be grateful for and stressing the positive is a wonderful beginning. Sign me up.
July 15th, 2013 at 5:31 pm
Thanks, Alexandra! Please feel free to post your examples on the Facebook page. I love the sharing of ideas!
July 22nd, 2014 at 2:19 pm
Hello to all, it’s genuinely a good for me to visit this web page,
it consists of priceless Information.
October 19th, 2014 at 12:46 pm
Can I simply just say what a comfort to find someone that actually
understands what they’re discussing over the internet.
You certainly realize how to bring an issue to light and
make it important. More people ought to look at this and understand this side of the story.
I was surprised that you’re not more popular given that
you surely have the gift.
October 19th, 2014 at 10:39 pm
Thank you for your comment! I have to say that I am better at generating ideas then I am at knowing how to share them to a larger audience! I invite you to visit the Kindness Turnaround Pledge Facebook page and add your examples and experiences.
October 31st, 2014 at 4:17 am
Liza, this is SO you! And a wonderful idea. I’m in.
July 2nd, 2015 at 2:47 am
Hello everybody, here every person is sharing such knowledge,
so it’s good to read this webpage, and I used to
go to see this weblog everyday.
August 12th, 2015 at 3:22 am
I relish, result in I discovered exactly what I used to be taking a look for.
You’ve ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a
great day. Bye
February 22nd, 2017 at 3:02 pm
I like the idea of a Turnaround Pledge. I’ve been making progress in self-confidence in recent years. Once I made the statement to somebody with occasional “frenemy” tendencies, “I’m not as easy to insult as I used to be. Don’t say all my students at…..are either stupid or trash.” Then I bragged about students with successful careers. I found out about them on Facebook.